Feb. 13

I’m in baseball darkness right now. I have turned this game we play for fun as children into so much more. I have put so much pressure on myself to succeed that I’m suffocating on the field. I keep thinking, I have so many people back home that I can’t let down. I have involved so many people in my journey-- from my parents, to strength trainers, to hitting coaches. Friends and family have supported my efforts out here, and I feel like if I don’t do well, I have failed. I have one month for the rest of my life. I get 30 at-bats and haven’t seen a live pitch in nearly six months, and I have to prove to scouts that I deserve a contract, that I deserve to play. You hit or you go home empty handed. This game is hard enough on its own without adding that kind of pressure to each player, and if you fail, it’s like putting yourself in a deep dark hole that you’ll never get out of. I have to remember that I play because I love it, and I’m chasing my dream because I’ve been given a rare opportunity that not many people get. Maybe I’ve already succeeded in chasing my dream by not giving up.

I have nine games left to make something happen.